The people who need therapy don't come to us — their victims do

I recently came across this phrase, posted by a psychotherapist, and it hit me squarely. It says something painful, but very true.

Although I am a psychotherapist, my choice was to work with organizations, yet things unfold much the same way. The people who end up developing themselves in organizations are those who are already aware — those who feel the discomfort, who wonder whether they could have done better, more clearly, more maturely. Those who absorb tension and try to transform it into learning. The ones preoccupied with growth are, many times, the ones who suffer because of those who aren't preoccupied at all. And they are the first to recognize that "we have a problem" or "I was wrong."

But that is not nearly enough to change a dynamic in which the other side takes no responsibility. You can be mature, empathetic, open to dialogue, and still be the only one reflecting. The only one making an effort.

Here another form of leadership emerges — one that is no longer about saving or repairing, but about understanding where your responsibility stops. About accepting that you cannot make someone conscious who doesn't want to be.

So what remains to be done? Do your part. That's it. Don't enter into games, into conflicts; respond differently than what you're offered.

The greatest act of evolution is not to understand and act in someone else's place, but to stop compensating for their lack of ownership.